This Article Shows Everyone Just How Thoughtful and Culturally Sensitive You Really Are

Your friends and family might be sharing other articles to demonstrate how thoughtful and culturally sensitive they are, but none of them have shared this article yet.

And this article tops them all.

It really cuts to the heart of the matter, doesn’t it? The headline perfectly encapsulates your thoughts on the matter. When it appears on your timeline, everyone will know exactly how insightful you are.

As your friends and family scan one or more of these paragraphs, they will soon realize you’re not only wise, but emotionally intelligent, rational, and cogent as hell. And sure, maybe these concepts are not your own, because you don’t have time to sit down and write a thoughtful article, but for a brief moment, this light was yours.

Because you shared it, dammit.

And you were the first to share it. Or one of the first. And in being basically first, the strong association between this article’s insights and your own was forged for all time.

Right now, amidst the heated fever-pitch of the debate raging across the country, you have arrived with raised arms and open palms, a gesture that makes everyone chill. “People, look at this,” you say. That’s when everyone recognizes how wrong they were to ignore you this whole time.

Thanks to this article, which might as well be your own, no one can deny your cool-headed ability to remain above the fray.

Best of all, you can retire from the endless search for new articles that might as well be written by you. You did it. Everything you set out to do. You found AND shared the article! Not everyone can do both those things.

Now it’s time to put your feet up, knowing your legacy is secure. Let others continue to search for an article that’s better than this one. You’d like to see them even try.

Writer, actor, funny person.